The Best Age To Board

Best age to go to boarding school Is there a perfect age to become a boarder? The younger the better, a year before senior school, sixth-form, when family circumstances dictate or not at all?

‘If the child is returning to a loving, stable family, they are far more likely to settle and to get on with boarding school life, knowing when they return home everything is going to be as they expect. Problems arise when the child senses tensions at home and worries things will be changed when they return.’ - Prep school head.

Why opt for a boarding school education?

Sending a child to boarding school at any age isn't a decision to be taken lightly. If the family is highly mobile and the situation is unlikely to change, boarding school can provide stability and life-long friends often from a young-age. Beware though if you're considering boarding as a way of removing a child from a stressful family situation, this isn't always a good idea - family stability has a huge part to play.

As soon as possible (8+)

The terrible twos and trying threes may seem like the ideal time to pack your youngster off to boarding school but in reality few children head for boarding school before the age of 8, though a handful of schools will take children, in certain circumstances, from 7. (The exception to this is residential special schools see our pages on special educational needs.).

Best age to board at school

Some parents believe the younger a child is when they begin boarding, the easier they find it to settle to school routine. Others say that boarding at a tender age institutionalises the child.

Whichever side of the fence you are, much depends on the child and the parents. Importantly boarding is no longer an all or nothing option; flexible approaches make boarding more popular than ever. Many children begin by staying over one or two nights a week before boarding full-time but this isn't always possible or practical.

Many prep schools (but by no means all) will bring out the best even from the shyest of violets. They will take pride in watching the child grow and treat them as if they were their own.

Some schools have a policy of ensuring they always find something a child is good at, so all have a chance to shine. This can be especially important in a boarding environment where mum and dad aren’t on-hand to give a daily dose of confidence to shell-shocked, playground-torn sprog.

Some schools – will even cope happily with bedwetting – placing such children thoughtfully in dorms (bottom bunks, near the door, close to the loos etc) with quick access to an extra duvet and spare set of pyjamas. Said one such school: ‘We’d pounce on anyone making fun of a youngster with enuresis problems but, to be honest, it doesn’t happen, perhaps because we’re a tolerant school and teach the kids to understand and be accepting of differences.

Generally, prep schools are much kinder, more homely places than they used to be – expect beds stuffed with bears even in the hardest of boys’ schools.

The last years of prep school (10/12)

‘A preparation for boarding at senior school’, they say. ‘For the fees’, you may suspect. The natural boarders will have been badgering you for years to be allowed to board and even the reluctant may admit occasionally to looking forward to it. If the prospect is greeted with horror, review the day school options.

On transferring to senior school (11/13)

Most natural boarders will have made this evident by now.

In a proper boarding school, life will revolve round what the boarders do and day pupils may well come to feel left out.

If boarding does not feel natural at this age, be very careful of your choice of school. In a day school that offers boarding there won’t be the pressure to board and you can treat the school as a day school for as long as that suits.

In the sixth form (16+)

Some leave boarding until sixth form. Boarding can be an excellent option then for those whose sociability has developed late, for those who just need to escape home, and those who need close supervision and long hours to keep their noses to the grindstone.

Problems such as bullying and peer pressure become considerably easier if you leave boarding until your child has done their GCSEs or equivalent and has developed a degree of maturity and independence. Many schools now have expanded sixth forms aimed at just such transfers. Take care to suit the school to the student: the range of styles is particularly broad at this age, from the disciplinarian academic to the ‘almost-university’.

The Good Schools Guide and boarding

The Good School Guide reviews more than 450 British boarding schools.

We also offer you our own one-to-one consultancy service - The Good Schools Guide Advice Service. Contact us on 0203 286 6824 or advice@goodschoolsguide.co.uk.

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Farleigh School, Andover is an independent school for boys and girls aged 3-13, takes boarders.

The influence of the head is pervasive, routing the school in values of right thinking and right conduct...

Ripon Grammar School, Ripon is a state school for boys and girls aged from 11 to 18, that takes boarders.

Demand for boarding places (14 a year) outstrips supply, especially post-GCSE. An unashamedly academic school, exemplifying much of the traditional English grammar school tradition, though certainly not an exam factory; even so, those with an IQ of lower than 120 could eventurally find the pace too hot.

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