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Four pupils took 5+ GCSEs in 2011 with surprising results. Most popular subjects are pig maintenance, badger bashing, hoeing, advanced hoeing and applied hoeing – all with notable success. Introduction of PSHE has done much to enhance the local birth rate and citizenship classes ensure that all know the recreational properties of the locally available veterinary drugs and where to find the Jobcentre on leaving at 16. It is definitely a school,’ one mum told us. ‘They have teachers and those white board things and they do exams.’ ‘Another agreed. ‘My kids go every day and then they come home again,’ she enthused…

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What the school says...

This is a fictitious school - linked to the BBC Radio 4 soap, The Archers.

What the parents say...

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What The Good Schools Guide says


Since 2008, Mr Andy Marshall BSc NPQH (mid-forties). Mr Marshall was previously deputy head at the now defunct Meadow Rise Comprehensive School where he had a transformative effect on performance and results, reportedly putting the school - many years in special measures – finally out of its misery. Dashing in track suit and trainers, Mr Marshall is every inch the modern head. A PE specialist, he insists on an early morning jog around the playing field for every pupil. Married to Janey, the school’s SENCo, they have seven whippets and a baby. In his spare time, Mr Marshall runs marathons, blows whistles and takes cold showers.

Academic matters

Improving. Four pupils took 5+ GCSEs in 2011 with surprising results. Most popular subjects are pig maintenance, badger bashing, hoeing, advanced hoeing and applied hoeing – all with...

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